Friday, August 20, 2010

The "D" Word

So I told my husband last week that I wanted a divorce.  


I mean years and years of my complaining that I want to spend more time together and a sit down conversation last month that we have nothing in common wasn't a clue! A few additional talks with him agreeing that we could think of nothing wasn't a clue. Nobody saw this coming! NOBODY!!!  Well, nobody else knew. Because I hid it well.  That's why my FB status said:

Smiled like nothing was wrong, talked like everything was perfect, and pretended like it wasn't hurting me...Tired of pretending, divorce is the answer.

So we've still been living together, 9 days of hell as he stomped around the house or locked himself in the bedroom (oh wait, he did that before too but there wasn't the silent treatment then).  Or he would randomly leave the house without saying where he was going (we're getting divorced, I don't have the right to know if I should cook him dinner which yes, I've still been doing). Jackass.  Oh right, was still doing his laundry too.  F'in Jackass.  Anyways...

So this morning he leaves.  My father comes to me soon after and says that he told him that we need to get the cable/Internet in our names and phone service and I'll be having to get a new cell phone and that he's returning the cable boxes and modem on Saturday.  

I already had the phone next to me for dr's appointments that I needed to make.  So, I called the orthopedic doctor to schedule my knee surgery. The girl is out until Tuesday, she'll call back. Fine, understandable, its mid-August.  I get that.

Call the insurance company to get a therapist.  There just so happens to be a new therapist only 2 blocks away ... WOOHOO!!  So call them and make an appointment and then call us back to get a reference number and then call the doctor back to give them the reference number.  Um, wait what?  Can't you give me the reference number now or have the dr's office call? No.  WTF???  Whatever, nearby doctor, very cool.  Get a regular # and a toll free for the dr.  Call first number, answering machine. Call second number, disconnected.  Dammit.  Call first number and leave a message.  Make note to call insurance company and doctor when they call back.  

So far, I'm 0/2.  Trying to get shit done, not succeeding AND I have more calls to make because of call #2. 

Next: Social Worker. I need to apply for cash assistance since my income is moving out.  Shouldn't really be too difficult since I'm already on Food Stamps and Medicaid.  Answering Machine...fine, I'll just leave a message for her to call ... oh come ON! She's on vacation until Monday!  Grrrrrr.....deep breath....I'll just stop later, get the application, fill it out and drop if off tomorrow and she can call me with questions. 

So I call my son who also has a cell phone on our service plan.  I tell him that Jackass (not his real name) will be canceling the service but I'm not sure when so he may want to get a phone of his own.  1 call checked off.

Then I call Vonage to switch names, on and off the phone in 2 minutes. Easy as pie. Hot damn! Things are starting to go my way!!!

Instead of calling Comcast, I decide to log into their site to make it go faster.  I can't find anything, so I use their online chat. I'm number 15 in the que. *Sigh*  So I open another tab in my browser and play on Facebook, switching back and forth every minute or so and watch the que number dropping. Once I hit #6, I sit impatiently and wait, as its already been 20 minutes.  TEN minutes later, I get a person.  Who I swear to you was using hotkeys to answer everything.  There's no way she was typing "Thank you so much for your patience while waiting for us to fix your problem. If you could just hold on for one moment while I review your problem to see how to handle it, I'll be right with you. In the meantime, how is your day going?"  Yeah, she SO didn't type that!  Especially when she came back and said "I see you're having problems entering the online website".  Um no I'm not. My question clearly says "I want to change the account holder name."  No mention of problems. No mention of the Web site.  Hello?  Okay, that's not what I said, what I said was "No, I want to change the account holder"  She replied that was beyond her capabilities but she could transfer me on the site to the correct person.  This is nearly as bad as being on the phone, except I had to wait longer for her to figure out which hotkey to enter.  After asking "Did I help you solve your problems today?"  (No DUMBASS ... that's why you're transferring me!) No, but thank you.  I now play the waiting game for 5 more minutes for the correct person. New guy comes on and takes care of everything instantly and I'm finally done! WOOHOO!  Wait, what? I still have to call the local office and change it with them too? Are you friggin kidding me????  I just spent 45 minutes to get this fixed quicker online and I STILL have to call?  I hate big businesses!!!

I take a deep breath and call the local office.  I give them the information, tell them I also want to return one of the cable boxes (because we'll only have one tv now) and everything goes as perfectly as the Vonage call.  I get directions to drop off the box later in the afternoon.  Another item checked off the to-do list.

Does it seem like this is taking forever to read? Yeah, its only 12:30.  *Double Sigh*

I gather everything I'll need for my trip to town including a written list of stops:

  1. Cable Company to drop off box/remote.

  2. Jewelry Store to sell jewelry (cuz I'm flat broke and he's taking all the $ in the account)

  3. Walmart to get Dad some munchies

  4. DHS to pick up welfare form (see above about me being flat broke)


First stop: Comcast Cable. Run in/drop off box/run out. That's my plan. But this is me. Nothing goes as planned.  Go right up to the desk, explain I called earlier and they should have my paperwork right here. A woman yells up "Oh yeah, we can't do it. We made a mistake. She's not an authorized user so she can't have the account in her name until he calls to cancel."  O...M...G... Are you KIDDING me?  I attempt to explain that he plans to return the boxes on Saturday and I don't want my service interrupted. My pleas fall upon deaf ears.  So, I thought, "Oh wait, I'll just call him on my cell and have him call them now to cancel."  Except...."I'm sorry, your call cannot be put through due to lack of service. Please contact us at blah blah blah if you'd like to set up service"  I'M GOING TO KILL THE S.O.B.!!!! I leave Comcast. In tears.

My next stop should have been as easy as my planned first stop.  Again. Me. So not so much.  I go to the local Department of Human Services (DHS) to just pick up the application. Except Ms. Nosy at the desk insists on asking who my worker is and then thinks that she'll want to see me (she won't) so she has to first call another worker and get their opinion on what I will have to do.  After a few minutes of waiting when I shouldn't be, she tells me that my worker will want to see me and that I can't turn in the application beforehand (right, cuz trying to stream line the process would just be stupid) so I smile and nod and think "I'm mailing this Saturday after I fill it out tomorrow, bite me"

At this point I'm ready to just kill.  I'm ticked off at the world.  Okay, not the world, just Jackass but I'm willing to take it out on anyone.  I run into Walmart, get Dad's junk food and decide I better take a quick look at school supplies while I have $23 to my name.  I pick up 4 of the 5-subject notebooks for youngest son for school @ $2 a pop which didn't seem too bad.  Time to head home.  The entire drive home, I was fuming.

I call 2nd son and his phone is still working....I inform him of my now dead phone and he explains that Jackass called him and said he needs to decide if he wants to keep the phone and pay his bill or give up the phone.  He didn't want to take any chances and was going to get his own service.

Hours later...Jackass gets home. Now, I'd managed to calm down at this point.  Really, I did.  I decided to offer up some of the things we have to make the transition a bit easier. I should note that he's been packing for 2 days and hasn't said anything while packing like "Can I have this or that?"  Nothing.  So, I have no idea what he's taking/leaving. 

Would you like the bed? No.

Would you like the spare dresser?  I'm taking it.  (Oh.)

Are you taking the couch? (Our couch, we're using Dad's)  I'm taking it. (Oh.)

Do you want the rocker? 1/2 second pause....No

He beings to walk away, turns around and yells: OH AND LEAVE MY F'IN ACCOUNTS ALONE!!!

Taken aback, I said, "Uh, what?"


"Um, excuse me but I was told that you were canceling them from your name so we had to get them in our names, so that's what I did."


"You don't have to return the boxes, I've already been to Comcast today and they said all you had to do was call and cancel, you don't need to inconvenience me and take the boxes back."

An hour of yelling later....

I offer the filing cabinet.  No.

I offer the 2 nighstands. He thinks for 30 seconds...He'll take his.

I ask if he's keeping the desk he built me that is being stored at his mothers.  His response was that he was not moving it up here.  So I said "Fine, keep it"  Do you want one of the other 2 desks that we have? No.

"Well, all I ask is that you leave the network the way it is."  He says he's not because the router is a N system and I don't have a N system But he'll leave me an older unit.  After giving him a 1 minute blank stare because I have no idea what he's talking about, I said "As long as its going to work, whatever.  Is there anything else you want that we need to discuss?"  And his answer is what smacked me across the face.  "I'll take whatever I want"  After a few deep breaths, I said "Could you please tell me what your taking so I don't go looking for it later?"  No response.  Unfortunately, I couldn't finish the conversation because I was cooking dinner. For him and my father. I was too upset to eat.  Instead, I cleaned.  

I'm debating on whether or not to be home tomorrow. Stay home and watch what he leaves with? Or leave the house and not be stressed out for the majority of the day but not knowing what I'll come home to (or not come home to as the case may be).


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